im trying to be more positive *sheds electrons and becomes highly unstable*
(via mannny55)
can you imagine if I order a pizza from pizza hut, dominos, and papa johns and told them to be at my house by a certain time and they all came at the same time do you know how awkward that would be
#the only thing that would make it worse is if you opened the door while eating digiorno
(via mannny55)
its just a toaster
Actually it is more than just a toaster; it is a short story.
“Finally” denotes anticipation.
“My mom” is character development: you have a mom.
“Bought a toaster” is the clear resolution of the story.It speaks volumes.
its just a toaster
Don’t say that
(via mannny55)
superlockthetardis: can we talk about the way the letter g is written on computer fonts
if i ever try to write that on paper it looks so weird
(via wtftimmy)
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation
It’s like being dead without the commitment.
an open relationship with death
death with benefits
(via mannny55)
Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?
(via mannny55)
when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there
(via mannny55)
“Uwaaah! I’m gonna be late!”
I’m Obama Barakku, 47 years old! Starting today, I’m gonna be a president!
(via mafuyuu)
i am 41 cheetos tall
Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?
we were out of doritos
(via mannny55)
- while watching animated movies at age 2: hell yeah motherfucker
- while watching animated movies at age 12: hell yeah motherfucker
- while watching animated movies at age 20: hell yeah motherfucker
- while watching animated movies at age 200: hell yeah motherfucker
If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife
(via photographyishype)
